Table of Contents

  1. Who are you?
  2. Where are you from?
  3. Are you a professional poker player?
  4. What is involved in being a professional mouse?
  5. Where can you be found playing?
  6. Why are you so quiet at the table?
  7. Who pays you to do this?
  8. No, really, who pays you to do this?
  9. Do you review online sites?
  10. You called me a cutie on your website.  Does that mean I can ask you out?

Who are you?

PokerMouse.  Duh.

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Where are you from?

Tralfamadore.

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Are you a professional poker player?

No, I'm a professional mouse.  Poker is just a hobby.  A really intense hobby.  OK, more of an obsession, actually.  Or compulsion, maybe.  Addiction, even.  Nah, not an addiction.  Chocolate is an addiction.  Poker is a hobby.  Really.  Just a hobby.  I could stop any time I wanted to.  I just don't want to.

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What is involved in being a professional mouse?

Scurrying, squeaking, and chocolate consumption (or some food that starts with "C").

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Where can you be found playing?

Usually wherever the WPT or WSOP tournament is located, as I really enjoy traveling and so I somewhat follow the tournament circuit (though I play very few events).  When in Las Vegas, though, I'm most often to be found playing 2-5 No Limit at the Bellagio.  When in Biloxi, it's the Beau Rivage.  When in Tunica, I'm at the Horseshoe, unless the games are really good at the tournament venue.  Drop by and say "hi" ... I'm easy to spot--short, grey, nose twitching.

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Why are you so quiet at the table?

Ever heard the expression "quiet as a mouse"?  Actually, I'm a very nice person who loves to talk but I don't often start conversations at the poker table.  Feel free to talk to me ... I'll talk back.  As long as you're not hitting on me, that is.

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Who pays you to do this?

Nobody.  I'm not backed by any corporation or entity.  I'm doing this as a public service to poker players.  I've been to some poker rooms that sucked and some that were awesome, some that value the player (and give great comps) and some that don't.  I'm just trying to help you figure out which is which.  Plus, I'm hoping that if I publicly criticize some establishments, they'll fix what's wrong (or what's not customer-friendly).

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No, really, who pays you to do this?

You do.  Click on some of my ads, you bum.

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Do you review online sites?

No.  I review brick and mortar casinos only.  In fact, I don't really play online at all, though I may decide to in the future.

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You called me a cutie on your website.  Does that mean I can ask you out?

If I called you a cutie, it was because of your personality.  Chances are I don't know you very well and any advances would be unwelcome.  So, no, it is not an invitation to hit on me.  What it does mean is that you have a stellar personality and are probably the type of guy I could become friends with.

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PokerMouse
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Revised: 05/28/07.